The dust settles in my mind

I was running through the empty streets. It was so dark except for the flickering of the old lamp post. I knew you wouldn't come so I went without you. Its always better that way. It hurts but I know its the right thing to let you go. I'm not the same when you're around. I can't quite put my finger on what it is but some thing's not quite right. I feel the leaves fall through my fingers as I reach out towards the bushes its wet and cold just like our house is. Something changed that day I knew it would. But I couldn't quite help it. It felt like I was holding my breath and if I did so for any longer I would have dropped down dead. So I blurted it out and I shocked myself. 

I'm bigger than this. It's not going to stop me. Its just a step back and then the grass will grow in my mind and will surely become...well what does it become. You tell me?  Who knows what's going to happen but one things for sure. Everything is changing and a small part of me is allowing the excitement to grow and embrace my new life. It's not the end. I can feel it. Come back to me and lets weed each others gardens. I don't mind if you're not fully ready. Just be here with me...

It so simple... yet I always forget. It's silly some how that all the things I've built up over the years can disappear in an instant. I'm conscious of my thoughts drifting away from that which is real. Too easily this can happen... The birds... The beautiful birds are singing.  They are calling to me. They bring me back, they bring me back to you and I can't run away any more. I'm sorry I've been running all my life and now my darling I'm back, back in your arms! 

My soul is yearning, crying out for something... That something is me...