The dust settles in my mind

It's like a rollercoaster you can never step foot off. But one that you wouldn't want to anyway. I am leaning in and you are around the back like you always are, why does this feel familiar. I am seeking as always and the dissatisfaction has found me again, I want to hide out again and never come back. I am calling your name and I know this is the real things but find my self wondering or is it wandering? I am always wondering and curious to know if you do too. We are not the ones we were before. We have come back to see if this is what it is all about. You are what I am all about, my fingers type fast and furious and I can't get enough, Its been too long and I don't know where to stop. I never know where to stop. I am longing for you and I cant have you any more. The sand falls between my fingers and beneath my feet and I can reach out and whisper but no one can hear me anymore. 

A play. Man. Woman. And everything in between. A life, a thousand lives we have lived till now. I see you there painted in white. I hold space. I hope to return again.  Press play. Stop recording. The story is over. Until next time.

There is something different in the air. You joined us not so long ago and we are together again in this life and beyond. My hand reaches out for you yet my heart has always known you. It has always been you. You waited for the right moment to arrive and here you are in all your glory. A thousand special moments have come and gone and gratitude has new meaning. Things will never be the same. Everything is a contradiction but feels exactly as it should. I’m so excited for whats yet to come. I’m more myself than ever before. I was made for this. I’m grateful for you allowing me to return to self. I’m holding on and letting go all at once. You know your own path and I will guide you. You are safe with us and you are free. 

There are six stepping stones and we are always in the right place. I take a step towards this. It's the feeling of knowing it's always been this way beyond what you could ever have wanted. I am all you have wanted and this is bliss. The plans are in the making and I call out in the distance and the water receives me well. I am diving in and making waves. We are here together. The water surrounds us as we listen out for her. I am feeling something and we know it to be true. The distance comes upon us now like from the times in the past when we had met before. I can see her in my dreams always. I've let go and allow it all to exist. This is all there is. I am free with you and everything inbetween.

You are calling my name in the language we already agreed upon. I am facing towards you now. I can feel this is all the things we always wanted and I wait. Patience has never been a strong point but feeling in to it I can see why the others do it. I choose you over and over. Every day that passes its always you. We are in between all that could be. The birds are hiding out pretending to be something they are not. Is it that we are always pretending to be in this world. Yet my world always includes you. The wind is howling and the feathers fall between our fingers. I am only small and and hidden amongst the leaves. We are settling into a new place in the forest and the river is part of our back garden and I have always wanted to be here with you and her. Our little 3 as we planned all along in lives that have gone by. I will always meet you in each one, We are here together and everything is calm that surrounds us now. 

The sense that something new is emerging comes thick and fast. We are settling in, nesting and getting ready for her to arrive. She is holding my hand in my dreams and I know she is on the way. The right time is always the right time. You never know but yet you do. I can see you from a far and see beyond the words which you speak. I am dreaming often these days. Someone once took my dreams away and replaced them with empty nights filled with nothing other than the feeling of being frozen like stuck in the bottom of the river unable to speak. This is long gone now and I reach for you. My voice is heard and understood in ways beyond everything I imagine. We are holding each other enough to be free and I am always holding your heart in my hands, it's safe with me. Im safe with you. Run in the distance and call my name. I will hear you there always. Tomorrow is home to me. Tomorrow comes again and again.