The dust settles in my mind

It seems these things have seen better days like that old teddy bear that ended up in the wash and lost his eye. I prefer him that way. It gives him character like that scar on my leg that's fading as each day passes. I like the marks and things that appear as we enter different stages of our lives. Its like my stories are written on my skin and only those who are close are in the know. I like secrets. The harmless ones that at are not for everyone. The ones that are for us to keep and to show each other under the covers when night falls. But I can't seem to wake you these days. No matter what I do. You are walking around in a some sort of deep sleep and there is nothing I can do to save the mess that has been created. And so I drift into memories of the D and T cupboard at primary school and remember how time just stopped when I was in there. Rummaging around in all the boxes and realising that nothing else mattered. The peaceful safety of my own world. Its filled with pipe cl

I can't believe I didn't see it till now. I've been hiding, trying to keep quiet  and do the right thing and only whispering the truth in those hidden moments. It seems strange and it is sad some how that its only in those moments I was able to be the way I need to be. The trees knew it all all long and tried to reach out to me. But I never listened. The books I read are feeding my mind in ways I didn't knew existed. My mind is starved from reaching that level. I crave it so much. My bones are calling out for it. I wish for you to be still. Still long enough to realize. But that will come one day, I will wait for you in my dreams. There you will see and we will be free.