The dust settles in my mind

Knots, leaves, broken things are surrounding us. It's like barbed wire that is impossible to get around. It's really tricky and spiky but no one can deny that it is there. But its worth it if you make the effort. Like my feelings. I thought over time they would fade but they are still there. Its hard and stupid to ignore them. I can see now clearly everything that it stops me from allowing the good things. The things that matter. You can have what you want that's what they say isn't it. Well some day I believe this to be true and other times I find it hard to accept. A bit like me really. I'm like some broken old toy that got left behind, I'm half hidden under the bed but my left leg is poking out just enough to show you I'm still here. Smoke signals are sometimes needed and always wanted. Did you know that life is waiting on us? Moments are passing us by and I'm fading away with each second. The clock is ticking in the background and I'm running tow

It's a strange feeling to look down and see a body that does not feel like ones own. My arm is numb and feels like it is no longer a part of my body. It must have just decided to get up and leave in the middle of the night.  It was so cold that night who can blame it. I always think the monsters are going to grab any limb that finds its unfortunate way out of the warm cosy bed. I try to pull the sheets around my face and cover everything but I can’t stop thinking of you. I wake up and my arms reach out for you. My fingers frantically search the bed but you are not there. I open my eyes and the realisation hits me once again. Every time I wake I'm reminded again that you’re not here anymore. I have many things I have saved up waiting to tell you and I want to hear all the secrets you don't tell anybody else but I'm in the corner dancing on my own. The hairs stand up on the back of my neck but it's a near miss. The car is moving on its own and its like a dream where I

There is something there I can see it but it's cloudy. Maybe its hiding and doesn't want to be found like that penny that got stuck down the side of the sofa years ago. Or was it a nickel? I like the word nickel. It leaves my mouth in a way I like and my ears welcome the sound of it. These days things come and go like the wind. It feels different and you're not hear anymore. The house is cold and empty and the floorboards creak with every footprint. My hair is longer these days and the wrinkles cover my face and hide who I really am. I've always been hiding waiting to be found. My whole life there has been a block in the way a gap between me and them. Me and you. It was always going to stop me until it was faced. Its like a gap in the memories of times gone by. They are coming back to me sometimes slowly sometimes fast. They will reveal themselves in times to come but for now I keep the hope that the block is getting smaller and smaller and one day will fade in to