The dust settles in my mind

Its like it's crawling all over my skin. Trying to find its way in. Attempts to bite its way through, but the block will not let it. The block is necessary for now. Too many attempts has left one exhausted and empty at to its core. The sadness comes thick and fast like the realisations. Letting go of it all makes things seem all the more manageable but if things were as easy as that I would click my fingers and you would vanish in an instant, But my dear we all know this is not the way things work. When I go to sleep you are there, when I'm driving in my car you are there. When I'm running relentlessly around the park. I trust myself and know you are there. But where am I?

There is a crack in the wire. That's how the lights get in. I like it somehow, it fills me with a sense of peace. Inside there is peace outside there is chaos. There is always chaos. Its like the way I look is a facade and a distraction away from the truth. Most of the them don't know this, but you do. You always knew everything that needed to be said. We enjoyed it this way, a deeper sense of knowing and looks meant more than we could ever explain in person. It's the way I like life to be, meaningful and there is always something to be curious about. Simple is not something I am able to be. I often wished I could be but secretly I was happy with the way I was. What a surprise after all the this time. Except my hands are empty without you.