The dust settles in my mind

My heart is beating fast like I know what is about to happen. I wait and then nothing. Still I wait hoping to capture that beautiful smile of yours and those twinkly eyes once again. I hope that they will look my way once again. I live in hope and truth be told that's not a bad way to live. My days are filled with yearning but I know one day the waiting will pay off and we will hold hands under the covers once again and I will be the reason you smile again. Others are still worthy and we acknowledge them and give them enough to allow them to be free and find their own. But I'm not so secretly glad they are not for you and I will whisper silly things in your ear and we will know that this is what we have always dreamed of.   I sent a leaf down the river and underneath there was a note in our secret language. It's on it's way to you and I will kiss it the way I kissed those pains away, each and every time you grazed your knee. You're just as clumsy as me and I li...

I'm sat on the swing from our childhood garden and I can feel everything pass me by. My body hurts and so does my heart. It's like the feeling of holding your breath to avoid the disappointment. Nothing is happening. Like time has stood still and it ceases to matter. The photographs tell stories that we have long since forgotten, the memories got lost along the way. But all of those photographs are hidden for now at least. It hurts to look at them and remember when we were happy. Avoiding things never works, it always finds a way to catch up with you in the end no matter how good you hide. The cupboard under the stairs was one of my favourite hiding places until that day when everything changed. I gave up all my hiding places and told you all my secrets. but now you are listening to someone else's hidden moments. Nothing can replace the times we shared but I know this for sure, I leave notes in all the places I've been, one day they will be found and I will be like the...

Dust is covering everything that I know to be true. It is like powder covering my face and my eyes glisten through it. You can see me clearly as though it doesn’t matter what happens you are able to reach me. It is always you. The impossible feat of things it’s never too much for you. You take it in your stride and walk around like the ground carries you into the water. I’m also wading through trying to keep afloat just to be next to you. Then something happened and you stop seeing me the way you used to. I can’t seem to put my finger on what changed but I will never forget that moment but I  felt it strongly and I could hardly breathe. I tried to stop it from happening but I knew the truth, we kept holding on for a few more moments but you were gone. I could feel it in my bones. The water was up to my ankles and now it’s to my knees. In the next breath it will cover me whole. And now I’m gone and you are still walking seamlessly in the breeze. Life has always been good for you. I...