The dust settles in my mind

There is a time for things such as these. The moment when the realisations comes in gently. Slowly but surely they are coming to me and I like it. The fighting has stopped and my mind and body are calm. The top was left off and I hadn't noticed at the time. I thought it was somehow firmly screwed on tight no room for any more. But this was not the case. The top is off and more things are allowed to happen. Maybe that's not the right word. It's not over. A stale stench of something undefined is lingering in the air and its mildly unpleasant. But I know it will pass. You are there, you have always been there but my mind and heart were too clouded to see. There has been an opening in the trees and I can see now that I was wrong about it all. This is something I'm working on, I'm changing and I want to see everything for how it is rather than what I thought. The softness if good for me. The trees brush me with there wisdom and I run along the path. My feet do not want...

There is the incessant  noise of the comings and goings from the voice inside my head.  There is so much pain that is dripping out all over the place. It's messy like blood smearing everywhere. In an attempt to clean it up I am dropping things all over the floor. My hands are failing me these days. Age is taking its grip and pulling me closer to the end. I'm reaching out trying grasp the last little bits and I can't get to them anymore. The sadness consumes me and I can barely breath like the night terrors that use to consume you. They took you away and left me alone. I know you are safe somewhere out of reach but i'm still holding on with the last thread of the hope. I'll never forget you don't you worry about that. But maybe you don't worry about things such as these anymore. Come back to me and shield me from the pain, but these voices shield me but also numb me. This was not part of the plan. When I was 4 I really wanted to dance but dance was not for m...