The life inside my head

There is the incessant noise of the comings and goings from the voice inside my head. There is so much pain that is dripping out all over the place. It's messy like blood smearing everywhere. In an attempt to clean it up I am dropping things all over the floor. My hands are failing me these days. Age is taking its grip and pulling me closer to the end. I'm reaching out trying grasp the last little bits and I can't get to them anymore. The sadness consumes me and I can barely breath like the night terrors that use to consume you. They took you away and left me alone. I know you are safe somewhere out of reach but i'm still holding on with the last thread of the hope. I'll never forget you don't you worry about that. But maybe you don't worry about things such as these anymore. Come back to me and shield me from the pain, but these voices shield me but also numb me. This was not part of the plan. When I was 4 I really wanted to dance but dance was not for me. It went away like everything else. It's muddy and ugly like my face sometimes feels. Today is one of those days when the bubble is clouding my view from all that is true. I wish the bubble would leave me alone but my fingers are not working like they used to. I can't move it away. It will not budge. I'm scared this will be the end of everything I know to be true.