The dust settles in my mind

Polaroids of the others are scattered all over the ground. The bed is messy the way we like it. In my dreams you visit me and are whispering all the things you don't tell anyone else. I want to tell you all the things I can't tell anyone else. You are always there longing to reach out with your ear pressed up against the wall but you don't. I'm not sure why, things changed and so did you. An imaginary cut like those giant ribbons that celebrate the opening on new things. I see this is what happened. Its okay, it always is because I know I am still here reaching out to you in our dreams where we meet every time in that same space next to that old wooden box. The one we scratched our names into the back. Some things can not be forgotten no matter how far along the line we go. The water is inviting us in again and we cover ourselves with the water and laugh. We are always laughing in my dreams. Keep smiling things will make it back to how they were. Never worry my darling,...

If the distance and the blink of an eye became the same thing. If the leaves crunched underneath her feet. If he looked the other way. If your eyes found mine across the room. We would never look away. It became something from nothing in the way you would expect or least expect. it matters less and less and more and more. Nothing makes sense but you have my back. I know it to be true always. I count on you to return once again like those petals from the first moments. They have remained in ways that comfort us. The neckline was always getting higher even with the zip that got stuck half way up. The memories caress the inside of my dreams like the way soft feathers kiss the breeze. Your voice is what I was always wishing for and only knew it was the right one once I heard it. I hope it never stops...

​ It is cold in here. Lying next to a fridge does that to you. You feel the cold in your bones. My bones are breaking from the lack of it all. You have never been really here. This pieces my heart like a sharp knife, not the one you are thinking of but the one that is hiding under the kitchen sink, it fell down there a long time ago and no would could be bothered to rescue it. Its like us, we stopped. The care and attention we gave to it has ceased to be a joint effort. A long time has past and I can feel the ridges in my side thinking of the way we used to be. Better days have arrived but yet something remains and keeps me coming back to that knife under the sink. 

There is a lot of things to mention but I will keep it short. For you and I both know we love the details but like to focus in on the things that ring truth for us both. I am dreaming of you often in way that is different than before. I know you are on the way and you are getting bigger each day and you are the thing that is ours and no one else can take you away from us. This is something I really like. I can hear the echos of times gone by and know I'm different this time. I will no longer let you down as I have in so many ways in the past. Your name is special and I write it everywhere just in case everyone else missed what I see in you. The memory remains always

The rocks are falling down repeatedly onto my skin. I am still it is as though nothing can move me. The way you used to see me has disappeared but I know it is still there. That smile is peaking through the cracks in the door. They are hiding in that little cupboard we both love, the one we used to hide in when we were kids. I am running through the streets and know you are always on the next one like in a dream. Aching I find my way outside your door but never knock. I know you are there checking in on me when no one is looking. Not the way it appears but in another world separate form this where we both exist. Secrets are being kept and wondering why we never made it in the end. But the end has never happened so one day I will be on my way to you in the way you like. Time stops still and we know it is better this way.

The mirror reflects a tiny window into the abyss. I can see many things and nothing it at all. There is a light in the distance. Revealing the truth of yesterday. The truth never stops being heard. Unless you choose to turn your face the other way. I know you can handle this. Stop the madness and settle in. My bones are telling me all I need to know and you are there covered from head to toe. Hiding out waiting to be found. My heart is happy and my head is messy. The bottles peak out around the corner and lead me to you. Until next time my hands are waiting and I am free. Holding it loosely so you feel it too.

There are hidden feelings underneath, trying to poke through the surface. If I am still enough, I hear you. A whisper can be heard in all the places we have ever been. Where we are standing is how we are now. Your footprints leaves muddy marks all over the place whilst I tread softly in a way not to disturb the peace. I've learnt the hard way in which this be true. Did you know your prints are only yours to keep and no one can replicate them. In a way that's the hardest thing for us to discover these things can never be erased but will leave a stain of the memory always. I smile knowing this to be both a good and bad thing. Things are never as bad as they seem in a moment your eyes look my way again and that cheeky grin appears on your face, I blink and you are gone again. The taps are dripping but the bath is empty some one left the plug out and now its broken. The chain remains but the plug left this place days ago. I'm counting in case this becomes something that will ma...