Like the old one but not...

I don't get it why did it hurt so bad I wasn't even that interested at first and then it all came and hit me at once. Was it the interest that won me over or was it just waiting to revealed and pulled out from underneath?  

It was always all about the feelings of you. Rather than the sharing of the two. How could that ever work? It’s a two way thing not just a one way ticket to enjoy yourself at my expense. I guess I needed more and you my dear were just simply not able to provide such things . Some would say only the unaware behave in younger ways and maybe I demand too much but I didn't like the way I felt when I was with you. That alone is enough for me to let it go. 

It seems silly somehow in such a short space of time. I went from being un-apologetically me into a crappy pretend version of me. That one who used to pop out in the times before the world of chanting began. I thought I had changed. I thought it was different. This time was meant to be different. I was meant to be different. But no still same old little me. You looked so much like the old one and I liked that in some weird way even though the old one was not appealing to the eye. You didn't sound like the old one nor did you say the same things in fact I don't even know what it was but maybe a mannerism or two you both shared. At least the old one talked to me when it was time for bed, shared my pain and made me laugh. And I mean really laugh. I love a good laugh the one that you can’t stop no matter what they say and you my dear just didn't quite cut it.

Your words were short and sharp as was the whole scenario. The behaviour explained all of this and all the things in between. As they say actions speak louder than words and didn't they just. Shame as it could have been fun. I could have been fun. But the pain reached the surface and you did nothing to help soothe it. Now its time for me to soothe. So onward bound for bigger ships that look more like the new rather than the old.